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I decided it is time to dust off the blog for a post or two to try and sort out a lesson that my Guru Maharaj & Guru Mata are trying to teach me at present namely it’s not about the externals but rather about where your head is at. We may have sadhu-sanga, we may not. We may have a temple to take shelter, we may not. We may have a Krishna conscious life partner, we may not. We may have a dear devotee friend to reveal our heart to and console us in times of need, we may not. At the time of death, we’re not going to have anything to fall back upon save and except whatever Krishna consciousness we have developed. Guru can give us all good lessons, and  take us right up to the cusp, but as Srila Prabhupada has aptly stated we must “fly our own planes”, when the time of death approaches.  Srila Gurudeva nicely explains that the time of death is like hitting the total button on the calculator…wherever our thoughts, words and deeds were focused throughout the majority of our life is ultimately where we will go at the time of death.

This point is confirmed  in BG 8.6:

yam yam vapi smaran bhavam
tyajaty ante kalevaram
tam tam evaiti kaunteya
sada tad-bhava-bhavitah

“Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail.”

In the purport to BG 3.27 Srila Prabhupada mentions that although the materialist and spiritualist appear to be engaged in the same activities externally when one analyzes the consciousness of both individuals there is a gulf of difference. The materialist is thinking he is the doer whereas the spiritualist understands everything is being carried out by the modes of material nature which is ultimately going on under the direction of Sri Krsna. A while back I asked Srila Gurudeva if we could say that the surrender Krishna speaks about in BG 18.66 is a state of consciousness as opposed to some variety of activities. He replied something to the effect that yes, the shift of consciousness is the key part in the surrender process but, where our consciousness is at will naturally manifest itself in our actions. If we are factually thinking of Krishna in a loving manner all the time as many folks claim, automatically we will be inclined to render service and execute the instructions given by the spiritual master. Yet if we are always hankering for sense gratification naturally we will fall back into our old habits.

So my Guru Maharaj & Mataji are striving to bring me to that higher level despite my incessant protests and canvassing to do this, that and the other. They’re trying to teach me that more important than adjusting the externals is to adjust the internals. If our consciousness is staunchly fixed on Krsna, we can handle any adverse conditions that maya devi throws at us. Just look at the case of Haridas Thakur. Maya personified appeared in his hut trying to seduce him, but instead of being agitated by her allurements he remained focused on the Holy Name and in turn made her forget her cunning ways and engage in devotional service. While I can clearly understand the principle of this lesson, dealing with the mind and the various desires that go along with it is a helluva struggle to say the least. Therein I can only hope and pray Krishna will give me the intelligence required to follow that which is best for me in the highest sense and not give into the various pushings of the mind and the senses.

Really if you think about it, we have the power to make anything better as it all depends on how we choose to perceive it. We can take being in this world in whatever situation we are in as a bad bargain or we can choose to make this material world, heaven on Earth. We have the choice to take whatever comes our way in a “why me, what did I do to deserve this” sort of way or we can take whatever comes our way in a grateful manner of “I deserve much worse and Krishna is so kind, to have only given me a portion of what I deserve.” We can let reverses get us down or we can take these failures as pillars to success. What it all boils down to is where is our head at. In this way we can properly utilize our propensity to control by taking full control over that which is under our jurisdiction namely our mind and senses. If we can factually do this, wherever we are and whatever we are doing will be blissful. Therein I beg for the mercy, prayers and blessings of the Vaishnavas that I may factually realize and apply this to my own life. Ultimately as Krishna tells Arjuna after speaking the Bhagavad-Gita in 18.63, “It’s up to you, what you want to do”. Tis’ amazing to think how kind Krishna is for putting Arjuna under the spell of Maya so he could teach us by his example how to get out of our fallen conditioned state and come to the platform of pure devotional service. Only difference is Arjuna got it right the first time after a 30 minute conversation, whereas many of us have studied/ practiced the teachings for years but are still thinking maybe I should surrender to Krishna or maybe not.  Ka’be Habe Bolo Sei Dina Amar?

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