First post of 2010…not sure what happened to January, somehow the whole month slipped past without even noticing. Spring semester is in full force, which if all goes according to plan this should be my last intense semester. One more class in the summer then I will be done with yet another degree program. We’ve finally gotten together a regular harinam program here in Austin it seems…once a week for books, harinam & prasad distribution is a solid start considering our current situation. Begging for the blessings of the Vaishnavas that we may maintain and expand our cultivation and propagation of Krishna consciousness.

For the last ever, I have been struggling with Krishna consciousness. Hence the URL of this blog “Struggling Sadhaka” and the title…”trying to reach a state of equilibrium”. Each year, month, week, day, hour, minute, second, etc has been  filled with a variety of tests and situations whereby it is necessary to make a choice between Krishna and Maya and sometimes make compromises between the two.  Each situation is unique as is each individual. The other day in Srimad-Bhagavatam class Srila Gurudeva described the relationship the jiva has with Krishna. He said that all the jivas are like an infinite feast for Krishna, where each jiva is a unique preparation meaning we all have a unique flavor or rasa(mellow) with Krishna.

Sometimes these tests we face along the path are especially heavy. Everything falls apart around us and it appears as if there is no one we can turn to for answers. These answers must come from within. So we have to do some serious soul-searching to reassess our lifestyle choices and distill the issues we are facing to the very essence.

Upon doing this, I realized my main issue with Krishna consciousness is the high standards….I mean even pledging to follow the very basics for eternity namely : no meat-eating, gambling, intoxication or illicit sex, eating only Krishna prasadam & chanting 16 rounds a day is not the simplest task to say the least. What to speak of becoming a pure devotee ?!At the same time assessing the results from engaging in the forbidden activities makes it easy to understand that the short term “pleasure” we derive from these activities is not worth the adverse physical, psychological and spiritual side effects. That being said, due to the influence of maya and our heavy-duty conditioning we sometimes loose sight of the reality of the situation. Hence devotees fall down and sometimes stop practicing Krishna consciousness all together.

For me, I found this intense searching to be quite refreshing as I realized philosophically, I can stand behind the process of Krsna consciousness 100%. The only shortcoming in the equation is myself. The only reason I would leave Krishna consciousness or fall down would be resultant of my own inadequacies not the inadequacies of the Vedas. Vedic culture/ philosophy is flawless, whereas we are flawed due to our poor decision to come to this material world.  Hence this simple realization of “the process works if you work the process” (something my Guru Maharaj often says in his lectures) revived my patience, enthusiasm and determination to push forward in my endeavor to become Krishna conscious.

Besides that the return of Srila Gurudeva, Guru Mata & Sri Sri Radha-Damodara has also provided me with a major reality check and boost of spiritual energy. Each time they come back into town, its like everything shifts back into focus and they reel me in from my drifting far from the shore in their absence. Hence the rarity and preciousness of sadhu-sanga. Sadhus are lifesavers, again and again. I feel grateful that Krishna has put me in such a situation where I am surrounded by kind, loving devotees who will take the time and energy to repeatedly reel me back away from maya and into Krishna. I can only hope and pray He will continue to bestow this causeless mercy upon me.

Hare Krsna

The holidays have brought me a little more into Jesus consciousness mode as it’s the season (thanks to the Romans, I have been told) to try and increase our meditation on this pure devotee of the Lord and attempt to live our life according to his teachings. Hence I am poking my way through the Bible once again trying to seek out the essence of the teachings of Jesus. In the back of my mind sits the fact that I am reading a text that was severely edited at the Council of Nicea, back during the reign of Constantine. At that time it was altered to exclude reincarnation & include meat-eating and alcohol consumption due to Constantine’s attachments/philosophical stance and the priests of the age being corrupt and wanting Christianity to be the state religion for the primary purpose of ensuring that they would be cared for nicely monetarily by the state.  Hence, I am apprehensive to fully accept what is written therein as the word of God as men with their own agenda have tampered with those words. But, that’s a whole other subject…if you’d like to look more into that check out the Gospel of the Holy Twelve.

At any rate I feel reading the Bible again, slowly but surely will aid in my preaching endeavors as so many people use Jesus as their scapegoat as to why they will not take their spiritual life to the next level. The purpose of us going out on the streets is not to convert everyone into Hare Krishnas. Srila Prabhupada did not instruct us to do such a thing. Rather he taught us to spread pure love of God through chanting His Holy names. He emphasized that one can chant any name of God: Buddha, Allah, Jahweh, Jehovah, Wankan Tankan, etc and become God conscious. Labeling myself as a Hare Krishna or a Christian or a Mormon or a Buddhist or Hindu, Sikh, Jain, Muslim, etc. yet not following the teachings outlined in each denominations Holy books will not help anything. This coupled with persons who come with their own agenda in the name of religion is why wars are fought. Srila Prabhupada emphasized that we should see to it that whatever bona fide Holy book or spiritual path one is following, that they/we are doing in perfectly (well to the best of our ability).

We are not out to make people Hare Krishnas, we are out to make them pure lovers of God, be they follow the Christian, Muslim, Sikh, Jain, Buddhist, Ba’ Hai, path. Aside from that we are out to give people the best quality of life they can possibly have here on Earth by aiding them in tapping into the knowledge they already have within their hearts. Yet therein we face much opposition. Out on the street it is common for people to reject our books saying, I have Jesus. Oh, you have Jesus? Well that’s just great, we are also followers of Jesus. Yet when you point them to the commandment of thou shall not kill in regards to their meat eating, immediately the response is that, that means thou shall not murder. Hence their own agenda comes in.

Similarly it is common for people to “accept Jesus” as their Savior and neglect how he has stated in the Bible to “sin no more”. That’s great you have confessed your sins & chanted your rosaries in repentance but, what good is it to go out and do the same thing next week, only to repent again next Sunday? This is what turned me away from Christianity and onto to Krishna consciousness. Basically there I saw that Jesus was put on the shelf all week to be busted out only in times of trouble and on major holidays (Christmas, Easter). He held the role of a vending machine…you go to Him, put your prayer tokens in and receive your desires granted. If He does not grant your desires, than immediately I become an atheist.

Similarly when we are sinful our whole life, we rack up these charges on our Jesus credit card (“Jesus died for my sins”) only to find out in limbo that the Jesus card is not accepted. In other words, we find out that we are accountable for our actions and can not just pay lip service to Jesus and expect eternal salvation in return. We have to do our part and live our life according to the teachings of the great acaryas, it’s not enough to hide behind some label and use Jesus/ the Acarya as the scapegoat.

In writing this I’m not meaning to attack a particular group but rather bring awareness to this tendency we all have to try and cheat in all realms. When it comes down to it, if we try to cheat God, we are in actuality only cheating ourselves.  From the Vedic wisdom we can understand that sooner or later we will go back to Godhead…for some it’ll be this lifetime, others it will be millions of lifetimes from now. From the Vedas we also understand that as Kali yuga progressed, the quality of life here on earth will go further down the spiral, hence it makes sense to try and get out of this cycle of birth, death, old age & disease sooner than later. Therein, it behooves every devotee of the Lord to make it a point to take to the streets and spread the Word of the Lord along with the chanting of His Holy names despite all the opposition and austerities we must face in doing so. By doing so we are not only benefiting those we come into contact with but we are also benefiting ourselves by rendering this service to the world. Krishna confirms this in Bhagavad-Gita 18.68-69:

“For one who explains this supreme secret to the devotees, pure devotional service is guaranteed, and at the end he will come back to Me. There is no servant in this world more dear to Me than he, nor will there ever be one more dear.”

So all in all, we have nothing to lose except our anxiety and everything to gain. Just imagine living in a world where everyone is aware of the way in which we are all intimately connected, fully conscious of the ultimate reality and acting accordingly. What a wonderful world it would be.

Hare Krishna

St.Mary's Cathedral (inside)

Mostly out of sentiment and the desire to do something to some how try to spend Christmas remembering & glorifying Jesus, I made the journey down to St. Mary’s cathedral in downtown Austin to attend the 9.30am mass. The cathedral is quite beautiful both inside and out…

St. Mary's (exterior)

The services were nice, yet a bit hard to follow even with the help of the leaflet containing the itinerary. The main preacher was from India, and noted my tilak on my way out upon shaking my hand and seemed to be quite appreciative that I had come. Asking if that or maybe I was from India?  I said something about Vaishnavism, but he did not appear to want to talk philosophy so I departed and went on chanting my japa.  The sermon was about how God had incarnated in the flesh in the form of Jesus (shakti-avesya avatar) and had suffered like we suffer here, and thus we should somehow try and help those who are less fortunate like he did. At one point, it sounded as if he was preaching impersonalism as I thought he said that, we can become God several times, perhaps he did?

At any rate I didn’t feel like much of what was said had that deeper connection and understanding that I have grown to love and desire. While it is nice to see folks come in the masses to worship Jesus, it seems like much of what is done is done out of ritual & sentiment not out of a desire to really know what’s up with Jesus and what he has to teach us. Kind of like how 100s of folks you have never before seen in your life visit the temple on Janmastami, only to disappear into the oblivion of the material world until the next Janmastami.

Upon searching their website for some systematic scriptural study program or other training, I could not find much other than ways to volunteer your service to the church or give them money. Even at the church itself it does not appear to have an active evangelical program.

So what’s my purpose in relaying this experience? Well, it’s to help us address these defiencies we have in ISKCON, perhaps even in our local center. The main thing that touched my heart about Krishna consciousness was how my Guru Maharaj would encourage questions and give us all good guidance on how to progress in Krishna consciousness. He taught me that eternal salvation does not come from one merely labeling oneself as a Gaudiya Vaishnava or what have you, but rather it came from reawakening our dormant love for God via the medium of rendering pure, unalloyed devotional service unto Him and His devotees.  Similarly when I was staying in Maine and started to attend the Boston temple, Jivan Mukta Prabhu came and spoke with me, formed a relationship and helped me out along the way. Later his wife, Mother Nandanandana was the first to engage me in service regularly in the temple kitchen before the Sunday feast chopping chilis & ginger and rolling puris.

It was these relationships that attracted me and kept me here this long. When I first went to the Philly temple, it was mostly Indian congregation and no one ever talked to me. Still I was fascinated to keep coming as I knew there was something special happening there. But therein, I always had the guidance of my Guru Maharaj to fall back on and encourage me.

So what I am getting at here is that I think it is necessary to actively seek out newcomers who come to our centers and form relationships and see how we can be of service to them in their journey. Similarly I feel it is key to go out and perform sastra & harinam sankirtan to bring the masses who will not wander into our temples on their own into contact with this wonderful Vedic wisdom and most sublime process of Krishna consciousness.

We need to be personal, not just write someone off as a fixed up devotee since they regularly come to the temple and/or have taken intiation. After all initiation means that our spiritual life has just begun, not that once we take diksa we have automatically become an uttama adhikari. It takes time and a whole lot of patience, enthusiasm and determination to become Krishna conscious in a world that is arranged in such a way to keep us in material consciousness. Developing loving relationships with other devotees/ aspiring devotees  helps build our spiritual strength to overcome all the obstacles that present themselves as we are attempting to walk down the bhakti marg and it also attracts others to come join the family. After all everyone wants to be loved and to have genuine loving relationships.

It is not that this is some new idea I have come up with but, rather it is sastric. In Nectar of Instruction, Srila Rupa Goswami describes how we should associate with Vaishnavas, similarly in Caitanya Caritamrta it mentions how even 1/11 of a second of association with a sadhu is invaluable, also it mentions in Bhagavad-Gita how we become like those we associate with.  Srila Prabhupada has encouraged us to love & cooperate with one another and to factually make ISKCON a house where the whole world can happily reside. Let us kindly dedicate ourselves to setting aside our differences and working together cooperatively to see that Srila Prabhupada’s mission to make the entire world  Krishna  conscious is successful.

Hare Krsna

So I haven’t blogged in a while…no hardcore reason for this. My offline life has been a little too busy as of late to share my pondering with the world. In the material realm, I just finished off fall semester with a 4.0 GPA which took a lot of prana & time to attain. In the spiritual realm in the last couple weeks of the semester the devotees here finally decided it would be a cool thing for even a small group of us to go out regularly for harinam & sastra sankirtan. What started out with the idea to do it once a month (with my pushing for more has evolved into going out at least once a week with a couple renegade side parties going out for books and/or harinam here and there.  Sankirtan is quite the addicting activity once we get a taste of the unlimited nectar that is to be had from going out, tis’ hard to stop. Why bother anyways? If Sri Guru & Gauranga are pleased, it’s all good.

Unfortunately or fortunately I do not have anything by the way of multimedia remnants to share with the larger community as I spend more time behind the mrdanga or kartals, trying to give some one a book or a cookie, or running around and doing whatever the needful or not needful is, than behind the camera. So…all I can share is a few words.

Tonight we hit up a Wal*Mart parking lot for about an hour or so, in the unusually cold Texas weather (snowed for all of 5-10 minutes today,yeah yeah I know pathetic but hey it’s Texas where we rarely see temperatures under 50-60*F). So here we are, two bundled up Mataji’s running around from person to person, distributing Prabhupada’s books & cookies, chanting Hare Krsna to the tune of Christmas carols in the mean time. Majority of folks most probably thought we were crazy, but hey a few books went out and some people got the mercy, ourselves included. Hence it comes back to the point I made way back when that preaching is a double edged sword, both the giver & receiver get the nectar.

After Wal*Mart closed, we headed back to my place to bake some cookies for distribution while I attempted to bust out some Christmas carols on the harmonium. Tomorrow will be the all-out sweet making marathon for me, as there’s not much else one can do on Christmas day considering majority of the world shuts down & stays in….maybe some door-to-door distribution?

So what’s the main realization that has come from all the material & spiritual stuff that has consumed my life over the past month?

Mainly that chanting Hare Krishna is way under-rated. When I’m up to my ears in school work; japa time or taking some time out to chant a bhajan or have a kirtan or go to the temple or read Prabhupada’s book is just such a relief. When I’m out on the street distributing/getting the mercy, I understand that the nectar to be had from engaging these activities is never ending as are the realizations one can derive from reading the Vedic literatures. These glimpses of the nectar of Krishna consciousness are what brings me through the toughest times, and makes me realize just how fortunate I am to have been put into contact with this most sublime process and initiated into this transcendental, loving family by my beloved spiritual father, His Grace Sriman Sankarshan das Adhikari. Herein, I humbly beg for the prayers & blessings of the assembled Vaishnavas, that I may remain in the service & sanga of the Vaishnavas for all of eternity and somehow maintain,refine, & increase my sadhana, as well as, my endeavors to bring jivas back to the shelter of Krishna’s lotus feet.

Hare Krishna

Sravanam (hearing) is the first of the nine items of bhakti. Kirtanam(chanting) is the second. These two processes go hand in hand. One chants, one hears, both are rendering devotional service and thus adding capital to their spiritual bank account.  In regards to hearing my Guru Maharaj often quotes the saying that goes, “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.” Meaning we should be at least twice as eager to hear than to speak. Of course this must be understood in the proper context. In the company of materialists whose motive is to drag us down into material consciousness, we should be more eager to speak than hear. Yet in the company of devotees, specifically senior devotees who have much more experience in devotional life than we do we should be more eager to hear from them rather than speak.

Something I have noted is that many times inexperienced devotees are very much eager to speak their realizations or to jump in when someone else preaching. It’s not that this is merely an observation, but I have firsthand experience of being that neophyte devotee eager to speak my two cents at said times. Typically devotees are very tolerant and kind and will not check us in doing this but, humbly encourage us and gently correct any mistakes we have made in speaking. Recently I have seen this escalated to the next level, where devotees think that in actuality many of the standards Srila Prabhupada set are in fact not right, but rather based upon some material attachments or mundane upbringing or what have you that Srila Prabhupada had. His Grace Hari Sauri Prabhu wrote about this in his blog, here(part 1) and here(part 2).

Hari Sauri Prabhu nicely explains Srila Prabhupada’s position pointing out that he was not just another conditioned soul but rather a shakti-avesa-avatar (empowered representative of Krishna) sent here to spread the chanting of Hare Krishna around the world. No other acarya in the history of the world has done what Srila Prabhupada has done.  Seeing things in this light, how is it that an ordinary fallen conditioned soul can dare to claim that they have a way that is superior to Srila Prabhupada’s. That only if we allow unrestricted sex life, or some meat eating, or playing sports or hearing mundane music or eating karmi grains or whatever other attachment that you can think of…..can the world become Krishna conscious. Srila Prabhupada greatly reduced the standards of sadhana-bhakti to accommodate the Western mentality. He distilled the process of Krishna consciousness down to the very essence, giving us a prescription whereby we would be able to at least keep our heads just above the raging waters of the material energy. Who do we think we are that we can change that?

As my Guru Maharaj often reminds us, “the process is perfect, but our practice is not”.  While I may not be a perfect Prabhupadanuga or even close, and I have my fair share of struggles in attempting to live up to the standards Srila Prabhupada has set. I fully accept that that the process he has given us is perfect. There is no need to change anything about the process, there is simply a need to change ourselves.

Hare Krsna.

So there is something I have been keeping from those of you who keep up with my internet ramblings. For a couple years I have managed to keep it pretty well secret but as of late it has been leaking out bit by bit so I figure it’s time to come clean. So here it is, I know it may be hard for some of you to accept but… I have a youtube channel that I post videos to…mostly music videos, a lot of which consist of my music making.  For some reason I don’t like posting my art/music so much…largely because of the praise I receive, it’s hard for someone with a false ego problem(like I have) and another part because music/art making is really dear to me, I put all I have into making it so in that way its a source of vulnerability for me which conflicts with my stonehearted nature that most folks know.

Last night at a home program given by my Spiritual Master he cleared my doubts in regards to receiving glorification & praise. He told me, “there is no reason to deny praise. You accept it but, don’t keep it. Offer it all to your spiritual master and the previous acaryas” and in this way you won’t become proud. So seeing how everything worthwhile I have was given to me by my beloved Guru Maharaj and how whatever good I do is by His mercy alone, I figured that perhaps sharing these abilities Krishna has given to me with everyone can serve as another way by which I can glorify my beloved Spiritual Master, His Grace Sriman Sankarshan das Adhikari.

Since I taped a really ecstatic kirtan that my Guru Maharaj led last night at a home program in Round Rock, Texas I figured that this would be an auspicious way to come out of the closet in regards to my semi-secret Youtube video making. So without further adieu, here is the video of that wonderfully ecstatic kirtan (no, it’s not hype):

and here’s a direct link to my channel:

Radhapriyadasi

and while I’m sharing stuff, here’s a link to some of my Art/Graphic Design work (right now it’s only design stuff):

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4462739

*once again if by going to my FB page and seeing the album you are inspired to send me a friend request. Kindly send me a msg along with the request telling me who you are and how you found out about me as I only friend folks I know or well at least folks who are not anonymous.

Alright….

Hare Krishna

 

 

So I have recently been requested to share pictures in addition to my 500+ word blogs about whatever is on my mind at present, on the plea that its Kali yuga thus people’s attn span is not long enough to read a whole lot of text. Seeing how taking photos or maybe not taking photos is one of my vices this is a challenge. More times then not I like living in the moment, being a full part of the experience, rather than being behind the lens of the camera. Nonetheless I have experimented with putting at least a little prana into capturing some moments to share with everyone. I have posted them on my Facebook account. They may be found here:

Govardhan Puja 2009 & Rasikananda & Rantideva Prabhus initiation yajna

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=166283&id=742915992&l=c5e21febc8

Janmastami & Srila Prabhupada’s Vyasa Puja 2009

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=154326&id=742915992&l=f8bc78d3fd

This blog post is dedicated to Bhakta Clemens for his advice.

PS…if after reading this post you (meaning anyone) decide that you would like to be FB friends, kindly send me a msg with your request (and blog url if applicable) so that I at least know who I am friends with. Just trying to keep it personal, ya know. Hare Krsna

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” – Bill Cosby

I was cleaning out my gmail draft inbox (as I had reached over 100 drafts!) and came across this bit of writing that I don’t believe ever made it’s way to being posted on my blog. Find said posted below…
After hanging around ISKCON for some time it becomes rather easy for one to pick up the philosophy and even begin to teach others the basics…you are not your body, you are spirit souls whose primary function is to serve Krsna eternally. We are already Krsna conscious we simply have to revive it by chanting the Hare Krsna Maha-Mantra, etc. However, what separates the men from the boys or the ladies from the girls comes the practical application of the philosophy especially the practice of adjusting things according to time, place and circumstance.

Generally when we first attempt to practice Krsna consciousness seriously the tendency is to take things full on, with a no compromise sort of attitude (or well at least that was how it went in my case). After some time doing this I noticed that I was hurting people I loved and rather than attract them to Krsna consciousness my behavior/fanatacism was pushing them away from Krsna. Hence, I could understand the need to adjust my sadhana or bhajan as you will when in the company of non-devotee acquaintances in such a way where they would at least respect and appreciate my devotional efforts if not be inspired to take it up themselves.

Within that there have been innumerable times where I have failed at striking this balance. Going too far to the strict side and thus pushing persons away from Krishna or going too far to the lenient side and thus hurting myself spiritually as well as, missing out on valuable opportunities to give Krsna to others. Too far on either side is counterproductive as Krsna doesn’t want a bunch of fanatical, brainwashed zombies serving Him nor, does He want living entities to be drug further away from Him.

Most recently I majorly failed at this, going way too far to the lenient side, thus bringing my Krsna consciousness down and also wasting much time/energy futilely in trying to accommodate non-devotees comfort zones missing out on many opportunities to give Krsna to them. From this experience I had the realization that the most important thing in any situation is to do that which would be most pleasing to Guru/ Krsna. It’s important to be bold and stick yourself out on a limb for Krsna as you never know what He has in store for you.

On sankirtan, this experience happens regularly (at least for me). I get all mental thinking, “oh I should not approach this person b/c they look scary or unfavorable or Christian or something.” Yet if I transcend the mental platform and approach them anyway, more times then not the person you least would expect turns out to take a book. Same goes with getting all mental about performing devotional service….like offering food or chanting your rounds in front of non-devotees. While it may be a little awkward sometimes in actuality both you and the other party are being benefited from doing such things unless of course they become offensive wherein it’s best to kick it in stealth mode as aparadha/blasphemy towards devotees/Krsna is wickedly counterproductive. But either way the best thing is to be sensitive to the mentality of those around you, and do your level best to do that which would be most pleasing to Guru & Krsna…not that which would be most pleasing to your family/friend.

Your friend/family member may be very happy that you went out to a (non-Hare Krsna) restuarant for dinner with them or did a bong load with them or whatever it may be, yet within this your Krishna consciousness will suffer and Krishna/Guru will not be pleased. So therein, the whole endeavor was useless.

In this connection most recently I read a quote on one of my FB friends “walls” which read,

From Vedic wisdom we can understand the part Bill was missing here. Namely by watering the tree, all branches are nourished or by pleasing the Lord, in due course everyone will be pleased with us. Therein, it comes back to understanding how exactly we can do that which is pleasing to Guru/Krsna in all times, places and circumstances which from my experience thus far seems to come from making a lot of mistakes. Therein it seems the only thing we can do is try and take Krsna consciousness more seriously so we can eventually come to that stage whereby Krsna will dictate to us what our every thought, word and deed will be. Until that where we are completely in tune with the instructions Paramatma (Krsna from within) is giving us, it expeditites matter to take help from and inquire from the bonafide spiritual master as to what is the best way we can come to that level of achieving a perfect equillibrium between the material and spiritual side of things.

Hare Krsna

The other night I was writing in my offline journal trying to make sense of birth and death & the emotions felt at this time through the Vedic scriptures from my perspective as a neophyte devotee.  Hence I was left with the following which I felt inspired to post here in hopes it may resonate with someone else or perhaps someone can enlighten me further on this subject. As always, thoughts, comments, questions, discussions, criticisms, etc are always welcome but do try to go light on the praise, it’s rough on my condition of intimately relating with the false ego. So without further adieu….

Which is worse Birth or Death

Many occurrences as of recent have brought remembrance of my own  mortality. Namely how though I am currently in a 25 yr old body, I could die at any moment. Just recently in the town where I went to high school, one man who graduated HS with my sister,  was a police officer and was shot and killed in the line of duty. His partner who happened to be my sister’s ex-boyfriend in HS was struck by the same bullet in the neck, but made it through it just fine. It was the usual scene of how when something like this happens in a little rural town, everyone is especially shocked and a loss of life at such a young age (around 30) is always tragic. At times like these, people become a little more sober and get struck hard with a glimpse of the reality that we are all going to die. It also brings on a mood of philosophical inquiry about the nature of the soul  namely where it goes after death, and how all these things work.

Though I may be able to quote many verses from Bhagavad-Gita that speak of the temporal nature of the body, and the eternality of the soul, what I can’t seem to find is a verse to quote that is a consolation for the fact that within this lifetime you will not have this persons association again. Though I can understand through the eyes of scripture that I should not lament of the souls changing dress, I can not just be callous in the face of death. It’s a sad time, that I’m not sure any philosophical points can completely remove the pain one experiences when a loved one gives up their present body, especially in an untimely manner. Even if such a miraculous quote were to exist, is it even desirable to get to such an indifferent state of mind?

Another wake up call has come in the form of music. In many old time/bluegrass songs the subject of death is very prominent. One song in particular that comes to mind has a refrain that goes, “Oh sinners you better get ready, sinners you better get ready for Your gonna meet the Lord.”  The purport being are you ready to face the music for all the things you’ve done in this life.

The other night in doing a search for “Hare Krsna” on you tube, I came up with a 2pac video with some guy ranting in the video description about Hare Krsnas/Allah/and Jesus and maybe 2pac as well, all being one and the same  or something…didn’t make much sense to me but through that vid led me to a Bone Thugs N Harmony song called “Crossroads”…(yeah, yeah I know so goes the workings of maya on the internet… you look for one thing innocently enough and end up quite far from where you started an hour later ).  Anyhow, the video was quite powerful as it shows Death personified walking through the hood and collecting souls.  The video really confirmed the Grateful Dead’s statement that “Death don’t have no mercy”.  From newborns to old men, all were on his list. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe twenty or fifty years from now, though sooner than later it will be our time.

So then it comes down to the question: Are you ready to die? Quite the heavy inquiry there.  Immediately this brings to mind Maharaja Yudhistira’s profound observation how though living entities see everyone around them dying, they still act as if they will live forever. Similarly I find myself lumped into that duped category. While I chant my japa each day, and make some attempts to be Krishna conscious, I can’t say I’m at a point where I am ready to die. I feel like I have all the tools I need to die(i.e. maha-mra but, am not at the point where I can skillfully handle them when the time comes. Hence why for me death is a sad thing.

For a neophyte devotee death is sad because while they are on the path, they wasted their life foolishly and didn’t quite make the cut, thus forced to be born again. For the materialist, death is a sad thing as they will have to take birth again and perhaps suffer severe punishment in the Hellish planets for their grossly sinful acts. For the perfect Vaishnava death is a glorious, joyful occasion yet, a sad experience for other devotees of all levels as that means  their association(vapu) with that Vaishnava is finished for this lifetime.

So from the above perspective it seems that more so than death being a sad thing, birth is a sadder thing as it means the jiva will have to pass through another lifetime of suffering. Yet if you look at it from another angle you could say both death and birth are joyous occasions as each is one step closer to that time where we will be fit candidates to go back to Godhead. So therein I believe lies my answer for the philosophical point that relieves much sadness from the business of birth and death, namely that each life we go through we are one step closer to the spiritual world.

Hare Krsna

Last night I was writing in my offline journal pondering over some doubts that were lingering in my heart. I had the realization that doubts are like weeds in our garden of Krishna consciousness. If we let them go unchecked, gradually these weeds will get bigger becoming even harder to pull out than if we had pulled them out the minute we noticed their presence. Once we have a doubt and allow it to linger in our heart and mind we develop more and more arguments as to why this doubt is genuine and why one of our authorities (Sadhu, Sastra or Guru) is wrong.

Hence the best way to rid ourselves of doubt is to catch it in the seed state before it has had a chance to bust out of it’s shell and take root within our heart and mind. While I was prepared to do this last night, my internet connection was out and it was quite late for me to walk over to the study and figure out what the problem was. So I slept on it and have just now gotten the chance to search through my previous correspondence with my Guru Maharaj. I can’t even begin to say how grateful I am to have all these letters and the searchable function of gmail to sift through them and find unlimited nuggets of wisdom to completely destroy even the deepest rooted doubtful weed within my heart.

The amazing thing is that Srila Gurudeva makes this knowledge and personal correspondence available to everyone. All you have to do is navigate your way over to www.backtohome.com, enter your name & e-mail address and automatically you have access to an expert gardener who knows all the ways and means to care for each aspect of the garden from removing the pests/unwanted plants to fertilizing and pruning the creeper of bhakti. Thus is the mercy of Srila Prabhupada & His disciples, they freely give the message of Lord Caitanya for the simple price of our faith.

So I had this specific letter that I had received from my Guru Maharaj nearly a year ago in mind  that I felt had the counter to my doubt. Upon searching through the correspondence and rereading this letter, my inclination had been correct. Not only did it completely destroy the doubt within my heart it also gave me a renewed feeling of gratitude and indebtedness  to my Guru Maharaj for saving me from material life and giving me the shelter of the Holy name.

As one devotee commented in reference to my last post surrender is not something stagnant, like we are fully surrendered and that’s it, there is always a chance to deepen our surrender as Krishna is ever-expanding.  I believe that the same could be said of the Guru-disciple relationship, it’s not something stagnant, like yes I have accepted my Guru Maharaj as a bona fide spiritual master and have thus taken full shelter of him. It goes beyond that where each day is an opportunity to become a better disciple, to glorify/worship your spiritual master more, to study his teachings and gain deeper realizations, fresh inspiration and perfect your attempts to take his instructions as your very life and soul.***

So that’s today’s ponderings. Hare Krishna

***Of course this requires one to understand the position of Guru. Simply put Guru is as good as God because he is purely presenting the teachings of God (like Jesus, he was a Guru), at the same time Guru is not God….just like a govt. official represents the President, will receive all honor on behalf of the President but is not actually the President.